Control

Wow, I have not been here in a long time... I had no Internet for almost a month here at the house and then got a terrible virus on the laptop that Pete lent me so then it was no Internet and no computer! Terrible.
But now I'm back and had a lot of time to process. Its amazing how much time we actually have when we don't have TV or computers... life is very different. I did a lot of thinking and soaking. I read a lot... in the Bible as well as one book that is an assignment before school starts. Speaking of school, classes start this Tuesday! I can't wait... just getting my feet wet by being in the environment of revival has already been so amazing, I can only imagine what will happen once I actually dive in!
God is speaking to me a lot about who is in control of my life. I have noticed that many times I tell myself that He is, but in reality I am. And recently He has brought my circumstances to a place where I have absolutely no control-- when I've done all I could, and there is nothing else I can do to change things-- and that has been a very scary place to be, but at the same time SO liberating. To be more specific, I have been in Redding now for a bit over a month, and in my mind when I thought of moving here I thought of finding a job as soon as I got settled in... so within like a week I would be working... well, that didn't happen. Redding is a very small town and its not easy to find a job here. After weeks went by I started getting discouraged and thinking "maybe I wasn't supposed to come here", or "maybe I heard wrong"... and at one point I even thought "maybe I'm gonna have to go back to Florida". But suddenly, on the exact day that I started to think this, Jeremy (Jen's husband and our houseparents that take care of this property I'm living in with 12 girls) came in and asked me if I spoke Portuguese and said that the company he worked at was looking for someone who could do tech support for them to their customers in Brasil! They said they had been looking for someone in Redding for a long time and no one here spoke Portuguese, they were even gonna try to bring in someone directly from Brasil because they couldn't find anyone... And here I am! Isn't that just amazing?! So, when that happened I thought, "well, this is perfect! I can start Monday!" and once again it was like I was right back in control of things. But no! It has taken now almost three weeks from my first interview to have them approve the position and actually hire me. This period of waiting was so hard but at the same time so critical in teaching me to TRUST. So, just yesterday I heard from them that they finally had an offer letter for me and asked me to go in on Monday at 10am. Isn't it just like God to provide a job for me one day before school starts! He is never late. He is always on time. And I choose to trust Him more and more everyday and surrender control-- I give Him full control over my life.

"Mercy"

-Kristine Mueller

What shall I do with you my love?
What shall I do with you?
For Your loyalty to me is like the morning clouds
Like the dew that goes away so early
What shall I do with You my love?

You keep bringing me sacrifices
To ease your mind
But it's your heart that I want

Hasn't it been a long road
With disappointments
Chasing after lovers
That just throw you away

Are you done fighting now
All the love it takes to lighten you
Shame was never meant to be your portion

You keep bringing me sacrifices
To ease your mind
But it's your heart that I want

Though these sins are red as scarlet
I will wash them white in my mercy
Those these sins are red as scarlet
I will wash them white in my mercy